


No...It can't be...

by RedHearts_TellNo_Lies



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Annoying Vorona, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Orihara Izaya, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Izaya not being Izaya at times, M/M, Misunderstandings, Okay I'm done making tagges now, Orihara Izaya Needs a Hug, Slow Build, Suicide (no one major though), What is "no beta read we die like men" even mean???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:43:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29652888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHearts_TellNo_Lies/pseuds/RedHearts_TellNo_Lies
Summary: The Pov switching is constantOne day Shinra asked Izaya to come and have a talk.....Then he runs in to Shizuo and they have a "talk"....Then he finds him self thinking about everything that has happened to him....Then finds himself talking to himself....??What's gonna happen??
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Heiwajima Shizuo/Vorona, Kishitani Shinra/Celty Sturluson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	No...It can't be...

"So what is it you need from me my oh so wonderful friend Shinra. " Oh how I Hate coming here when I have no reason so to. I should be out so I don't go crazy in side my own mind and oh so-so horrible thoughts but I don't care really.

"Because we're all tired of your crap act Izaya" Well I was not expecting that.

" Ouch Shinra what ever do you mean~" 

"You know what I mean Izaya, Shizuo has been telling me to talk to you because you have been coming to Ikebukuro way too much. Just to mess with him and it's annoying when I trying to spend time with my darling Celty, and he comes in telling an yelling at me to stop you or something because you messing with his time with Vorona."

"Okay, okay understand you point but I can't follow your request". Ugh just hearing that bitches name makes me sick.

" Oh...JUST STOP IT ALREADY IZAYA," Uh-oh I hit a nerve.

",We get it, you still can't get over the fact that you love Shizuo,but he going out with Vorona so it's not gonna happen sorry, I'm your friend I should tell you these things straight forward. Before you get hurt." What the hell is this crazy doc talking about.

"I'm sorry I don't quite understand what you mean me love Shizu-chan a monster you must have gone madder than you already are to think of such a thing" I don't like where your going with this so stop. 

"Come one can you give me any other reason then you wanting to see how far 'Shizu-chan can go' for you keep coming to Ikebukuro and messing with him your a fucking info broker you can be in the same building and still avoid him so you can say that you have to for work either because you can avoid him, Izaya just see that there is no way for you to be with him now so please just leave him and leave Ikebukuro be, for me Izaya your friend?" Never thought my one and only friend would say something like that but even if he is my one and Only friend that will not be the only reason I come to Ikebukuro. 

"Mmmmm...I thought and one you are so wrong and it is my time to leave, I bide you farewell" With that I went to the door and slammed it shut and made my way now the now dark streets of Ikebukuro all I want to do is go home and sleep if I sleep For some reason I have thing weird feeling and no it's not jealousy it's... who knows I just wanna get home.

But some think other wise...

"IIIIIIIZZZAAAYYAAAAA~"

W-what the actual fuck...I just wanted to go home damnit.

" Oh hey Shizu-chan~" I said with once a strained smirk on my face.

"Oh shut up flea I gonna tell you somethin' here and now and after words I don't ever want to see you stank snakey ass in Ikebukuro ever again got" 

Wow like I look like I in the mood right now.

" Sorry Shizu-chan maybe a different day when I'm well me of course ok now. Like the monster you are go through a vending machine at some one else ok." Truly right now I'm not in the mood for anybody's shit after what Shinra said my I have to get back I feel like I coming down.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about you flea bastard," 

What?

" Your always the one saying I'm the monster and your higher up then me some fucking God well guess what your fucking no one your an annoying fucking bastard who loves messing with people your worst then the devil your like fucking Satan him self. What I do. I don't do it on purpose Your always the one who causes the shit and we're done. The fuck Izaya get a life even Shinra said he's starting to have enough of your shit just getta life or die you fucking so called god."  
And with that he left...and I was there just standing shocked for a moment.

"I guess I'll head home"

At that moment I realized I wasn't heading towards the bottom I was already in it.

....  
...Wow it's been a whole night and most of my morning and I still can't believe I can't get what Shizu-chan said to me last night haha oh I really fallen that low for even the words Shizu-chan says to can make me feel well anything other then when I see the look on my lovely-NO.

What am I even doing. What should I do. Why can't I have an answer for myself I'm a God aren't I. 

'Oh will you shut the fuck up already'

"AHHH! Wah what the hell was that" A voice Izaya heard completely startled him sense he should be the only one in his apartment.

'who the fuck else would be god.'

"what"

' No, you idiot ok now that that's settled with.. I'm gonna drive you crazy until you do what I what you to do got it~'

"Oh really I don't think you can~"

' Did you really just say that.'

" Oh I think I have~" 

'Ok I DID warn you~'

" Hmm?"

And with that it's as like Izaya got knocked out but he didn't land or hit anything strange....

So called seconds later....

"Izaya what are you doing!!"

"What? Wait how am I on top of this building!?"

" Your telling me you don't know? You the Izaya Orihara has no clue how you got on top of a building? Well now I've heard everything. Anyway it's good that you took what Shinra said into consideration. You made it to Ikebukuro without you and Shizuo having a fight. Now all you need to do is stop being an ass :) by Izaya."

" Y-ya~ whatever~"

With that Izaya climbed down the building having really no clue to how he got up there in the first place. 

Time skip to Izaya's apartment.

"What the hell is going on with me?" 

'me of course, now will you do what I want you to do or do I have to kill... Just what I was about to do until that little headless rider popped up'

"What did you just say."

' you know what I just said'

"....fine what do you want me to do."

' WOW never thought you would listen afraid of dieing Izaya hahaha '

"No I just refuse to killed in such a way that I have no clue I'm going it I prefer to have control over my own body thank you"

' Yaya sense you want to have control over your body and for me to shut the hell up I'll give you a choice. '

" A choice ok then, then what are my choices. "

' hehe simple really I'm gonna give them to you straight 'k

1\. Fall into my full control

2\. Harm your self in anyway to know you living and not the real monster and keep your body

3\. Kill Vorona and Shizu-chan

Now pick one right now sorry I want a straight answer but I really hate waiting on shit like this'

" Why do I have to kill Shizu-chan to kill Vorona too? "

' Because I said so. The hell hurry up and pick a choice  
Chop-chop you don't have all day unless you want me to choose for...'

"NO...no I'll pick one...."

' okay then go on~ '

" I-I know I-I'll choose... Choice number 2 "

' great~ then I'll leave you be and you do whatever you have to do that's accounts to choice number 2. Bye-Bye~ '

....

"YES IT IS GONE....now what oh I know"

Izaya walk over to his kitchen a takes the sharpest knife he has. Walks to the the bathroom sink and does a nice swipe across his wrist. 

At first he thought it will sting a little but it actually felt like a warm hug and with that thought it might not be that bad to do this every now and then.

"Mmm that was nice let me get cleaned up and get ready for bed."

And with that Izaya cleaned up and went to bed... Not even realizing what he just started for himself.

.....

2 Mouth Later

Shizuo's POV

"Why the fuck are you calling me at... WHAT THE FUCK SHINRA IT'S 4 O'CLOCK IN THE DAMN MORNING"

"... What happened my love"

"Sorry for waking you love it's just for some reason fucking Shinra is calling me at 4 o'clock in the morning"

'Ok, I really sorry for waking you but, this has b-been getting to me for a while and I don't want you to get upset well not upset well-'

"JUST HURRY UP AND SAY IT!"

'OK-OK... UmmhaveyouseenIzayathismouth?'  
What the fuck is...does he want me to come to his house and beat the shit out of him or somthin'.

"What?"

'oookay, have you seen Izaya around the city this mouth'

"The fuck, umm no haven't seen Izaya for the last 2 months actually and it's been annoying I want to know what type of hell he's planning on doing next to ruine and mess with everyone's life."

'Yaa I know, but the last time I talked to Izaya we didn't exactly leave off on good terms'

"Ok, but what does anything concerning the flea have to do with me, what you want me to go over to his house later today and see if he's alive or not or somethin'. If so...HELLL NO."

'Hey I know you and Izaya aren't on good terms'

" HA! We aren't even on ok terms forget good."

' I know but please me and Celty aren't even in Tokyo right now and I'm really worried, I know I've said some shit to him but just like you he's still one of my friends even though I don't show it the same way I show you friendship.'

" ....Fine,you owe me."

' Thanks Shizuo-Good... morning haha_'

What the fuck did I just get myself into, now later today I have to go visit the damn flea what a great morning huh...not.  
"What wrong love, what did Shinra say."  
"Nothin really Vorona, just that I need to check on the damn flea cause he's worried, but he's out with Celty so they can't, just my luck having to go check on him how old is he 10 or something."  
" I could always come with you Shizuo, and maybe instead of checking on him we can beat him some."

That actually sounds nice...but I know for a fact that Izaya will try something big even if he's not expecting us to be there.

"I'll think about it let's just go back to sleep for now"  
"Ok"

Well at least she stopped trying to kill Izaya by herself. If he was to hurt her I don't care I would really become a monster he always thinks I am.

Later that Day

Izaya's POV

I wake to the sun beaming though my windows. Oh how all full weather.  
Today starting it like any other bathroom, bleed, eat, through up, work. In the first two weeks it really hurt and I had to lay Nami off because she kept on nagging me about it until well...I fired her hehe, but then I realized if it hurt it means I'm alive and if I'm alive I'm ok right?....Right! Sadly just as I was walking to my computer I had the lovely pleasure of having me front door fly pass my face, thanks me I took that extra step...but after that I know only on person was capable of this.

"Well hi there Shizu-chan how've you been and also you could always now just knock on the door like a normal human being but wait your a monster...so that not possible ne~.

"Shut up, now listen here flea what are you planning"

Shizuo cam up to me but when he did so he also grab my arm....the arm covered with bright red cuts of course, oh how much I hate you Shizu-chan...or-

"What the fucks your problem flea I know for a fact I have hit you harder then how tight I holding your arm."

".....Nothing.... just a little sore- but what bring you here Shizu-chan."

" Don't change the damn subject flea. Sore....form what? You haven't been in Ikebukuro for the past two months and you even got Shinra worried for you that he told me to check on you even though you look prefectly fine." Yep I'm just doing so well hah~ I think not.

" Well that's funny cause the last time I thought you AND Shinra told to stay out of Ikebukuro so why would you come into my home break down my door and say some shit that you already know the answers to...but maybe not with that brain of yours it's too much for you to comprehend, so how about you get out my house and go to that little bitch of yours....hahahaha! You what fuck that even I'm leaving. Oh, and don't worry I won't be going to Ikebukuro now or anytime soon for that matter and if you can put the door back so it at least looked like a civilized person lives here that be great. Oh and if I'm seeming out of character I don't give a fuck a the moment Soo~ good afternoon-I guess, bye Shizu-chan~!" Slam! 

Damn it why did it feel like I almost started crying I need to walk for a while then, but of all the fucking days what does have to be so bloody hot!

Shizuo's POV

WHAT THE FUCK WAS ALL THAT ABOUT-

'having to put backs this flea's damn door what the fuck was his problem today...and were those tear's his eyes...?  
Whatever I gotta get to Vorona anyway... but still the flea seemed off aagh it must just be from Shinra wanting me to check on him, whatever don't care anyways-right-Right.'

.....

"What the hell is wrong with me...? What the the living hell happened to me...? Why in this world is Shizu-chan affecting me?"

Izaya asked himself this in an ally in Shinjuku failing to hold back his tears that did not fall while he was talking to Shizuo. 

"Haha, yeah I know excatly what happened. I've just been denying it this whole time and never wanting to admit it or give it an actual thought honestly. Hahaha... I'm just lonely well who wouldn't be, sadly at the end of the day I'm just another human...who's hated by pretty much any human I come in contact with."

While Izaya out he realizes all this and comes to another true heartbreaking truth. 

'With all my heart I'm really happy for Shinra and Celty. But I just can't be happy for Shizu-chan and that Bitch...I'll never will for that matter-'

Izaya starts crying so hard that he can barely finish his own thought just for the mear sadness and depression it causes him to feel. 

'I love you Shizu-chan, I love you, I love you with all my soul Shizuo Hewajima, but you'll never realize and will never see just on the fact. that I know you hate me for as much as I love you... '

Izaya's thought comes to an end as he countiues to cry his eyes out in the ally way-knowing to be lonely and unloved till the day he dies. 

*At night same day💔* 

"I feel like shit." Izaya tells him self as he get up from his spot on the ally ground to make his way home, To most likely just stay up not being able to sleep like he not been doing for the past four days. "What time is it... Oh whatever I don't care anymore. Just need to go home."

*Later Home*

"HELLO my beautiful blade who will give me the pleasure to be able to walk the earth for the many horrible day's to come...Okay! That sounded depressing..."

Izaya talkes to himself while he picks up a knife to start the prosses, that at first was weird but now Izaya kinda looks forward to it the pain he feels as the blade goes across is skin feeling like a wonderful warm hug that you would get if a stuff bear was to hug you. And the beautiful blood that falls from the open wound makes him know the blood in is heart is still pumping and thriving as the wound continues to bleed meaning full blood, red living human blood still runs though his veins. Putting and black and white view to his eyes that see black and gray. After that Izaya cleans up his mess, then walks to bed for another restless sleepness night. 

Shizuo Pov

'I might just actually break up with this crazy women... What the hell is going on I ain't taking this shit no more'

Shizuo didn't want to address it but he might go mad. For awhile now...sense that day I told Izaya off actually Verona... Has been being a total bitch lately. On top of being super paranoid.  
•Go for a smoke - your cheating?  
•Go to talk to Celty - your lying?  
•Get a call from a friend and say it's Shinra. - Impossible?  
•Go to Izaya's place against my own will... - YOUR PLAYING WITH ANOTHER GIRL!?!?'

I can go on with reasons but this it fuckin it. I got to tell her and if she tries to use her little whatever connections to get back at me in some way. I'll show her how much of an 'monster' I'm able to be, I don't even care anymore.'

"Shizuo who are you texting?"

"....Shinra why? "

"Then... WHY THE HELL WOULD SHINRA BE SENDING YOU A HEART EMOJI!!!"

'...are you fucking shittin' me?'

"Okay 1. It's because he just going on how much he loves Celty an 2. This just isn't working and if your wandering why most people say no it's me not you.... But in this situation it's ALL you Verona not sorry at all too if your wondering."

"What are you...are you saying breaking up with me...?"

"Yes, know you might go on this whole-" Shizuo got cut off with.  
"Yes, No more worries."  
"What? "  
"Oh, sorry Shizuo actually when you were out earlier today I was thinking about breaking up with yoy later this week but it seems you beat me to it but whatever at least it's a mutual feeling of use leaving eachother right."  
"Yeah,I can unberstand that much, but ... do you mind me asking why?"  
"Oh, there's no real problem Shizuo I just don't have feeling for you anymore and when I just ask you who you where texting I wasn't as mad as I think I've should have been.. So yeah good bye Shizuo."

'...Well that worked out better than expected... Well whatever... But I still have this other feeling that... I got to fix some thin' but what is it?'

.....

I can't FUCKING BELIEVE THIS...how in the hell is this all my falt...their us no fucking way in hell that I am the cause of me and my loves break up nononon No! It can't be their must be some other reason but...what could it be...or maybe not what...who. While I was walking going to my old apartment sense me a Shizuo are no longer together I see what people call the black rider or for what I learned name is Celty and one of Shizuo's friends or as I see her as more of a rival comes, up to me PDA in hand most likely wanting to talk.

"Hello Celty, what can I do for you to day"  
"Nothing much actually, just wandering around the city looking out for some one."  
"Oh...?And who are yoy looking for could I be of any help?"  
"Yeah, I guess have you seen Izaya around the city at all as of lately"

Izaya. He might have something to-do with this...he must something to do with this...danm monster.

"Sorry, no I have not but if I do I call, well then farewell Celty have a good day."  
"Ah,okay thanks anyway and you too"

At that Celty drove off and it seems I have to make a quit stop at a certain in monsters apartment to see what horrible spell they put on my love.

Izaya's POV

Ahh today was much more cloudy for my liking...maybe today will be better even though I have nothing to do sense I wasn't ablevto fall asleep last night I know right shocker! But anyway sense today maches mu now every day mood. I'll go for a walk around Ike-I mean Shinjuku or take a route around Ikebukuro and walk around kita-city for awhile.... Ne~ too long I'll just walk around Shinjuku sense I'm not welcome in Ikebukuro any more. Oh who the hell am I'm talking about me of couse Izaya Orihara the one that's wanted no where but dead to the people of Tokyo and most likely some of the soranding area too. To br honest I wouldn't be surprised if the leader of hell wouldn't want any thing to do with me other then let my horrible soul burn in there hell pits till the end of time even more if that was even possible. Ha~ yeah, I know me the self induced god Orihara Izaya talking about burning in hell...well that is because I finally realized ture reality in all it's color or lack of in my case.... Where was I...yes well let go on my hopefully some what eventful most likely will not be walk around Shinjuku.

What Izaya didn't know was that going for this walk saved him some trouble...not all just some.

Verona's POV

Today's the day I finally get rid of that monster...he's the real reason why my Shizuo broke up with me... I just know it. That monster must gave threaten Shizuo with my life and because Shizuo is no monster he couldn't ever kill someobe even if it was the flea...so I will just have to do it myself without my love knowing of course or he might hate me-oh who am I'm kidding he will finally be actually happy cause now he can love me with no doubt that the info-monster will do anything to use cause well he'll be in is apartment slowy decomposing sense no one would care to put him in a 6ft deep hole so forget a coffin all together.  
Verona thought on her way to the informants apartment but when she go there she was met with quit a surprise.

"WHERE THE HELL IS HE!!!"  
By now for the past half a hour looking though/destroying Izaya apartment just too kill him not knowing that the informant already came to his apartment about to unlock his door just to hear her might I add where he is. To most likely kill him which to Izaya isn't even a shocker anymore.

"WHEN HE GETS HERE I'M GOING TO KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIIIIIIIIM!"

....And at that Izaya knew to make a call to the person he doesn't want too see but needs him to get rid of what's his that happen to break into Izaya's apartments no one other them Shizuo Haweijima.

Shizuo's POV

Shizuo was standing outside his apartment complex taking a smoke when hr got a call from an unknown number.

"Who the hell is calling me?"

Still he picked it up any way.

"Who the fuck is this?"

'Wow you have always had a way with words you know that Shizu-chan~'

What the fuck...is this flea really calling me?

"What the hell do you want flea you must want somthing cause there would be no other reason for you to be calling me otherwise you would have called someone else who sure as hell ain't me."

'Well yes, you are right about me wanting me to do something but sorry to say your the only one I know who can hanble this one situation'

"Yeah, and might I ask what the situation your on that so happens to invole me also?"

Shizuo said with much irritation coming from this overall confiscation.

'Well if I might add.... Your girl friend Vorona broke into my apartment looking to kill me while I was out for a walk around Shinjuku so if you wouldn't mind getting your bitch out of my apartment so I can fix everything she most definitely has destroyed'

"What..."

At this Shizuo was at a lost...Vorona said she was gonna stay with a friend then go back to Russia...not stay with a friend and go kill Izaya?!

"Please tell me your joking...."

'Shizuo...if I was joking this call would have never happened...trust me, now if you please get over here and get you crazy girl friend-'

"Ex, ex-girl friend I broke up with her yesterday"

'I-wait really? Oh, NEVER mind with that just get your crazy ex-girlfriend out my apartment before I call the cops...even though she is your ex I don't think you want her behind bars, do you?'

"Yeah-yeah, I'll be there as fast a I can and hopefully be able to stop this madness she stated."

'Thank you.'

And with that the informant hung up.

"AHHHH, DAMN IT VORONA!...this is why I broke up with you!"

......

When I got to the damn apartment complex the flea lives in I saw him standing outside doing whatever the hell he usually does on his phone.

"Oi flea I here"

"Great~,cause I'm tired and I have the greatest feeling that I have to put my bed back together before I can sleep in it~."

This fuckin-

"Whatever. I'm just here to take her out your apartment so I don't have to ever see you again."

"Same here so can you hurry please." Flea said in a tried tone.

Yeah got it"

And at I walk passed the flea into the apartment building up to the flea's apartment to see surprisingly what I was expecting to see, I know shocker right?

When I got there I saw Vorona yelling at the top of her lungs looking for the flea saying that he was the reason I broke up with her. Which sadly to say this break up had nothing to-do with the flea it was all her crazy ass...when I think about it at times like this which would be better psychopathic female or a psychopathic male...

'Like Izaya?'

What the fuck NO I don't what to be with a psychopath in general....calm down Shizuo it is not the time for this. Right now I need to talk to Vorona and get her out of the damn flea apartment.

"Oi, Vorona...What the hell are you doing her..." I said as calmly as I can which is not much for the fact that the whole reason I'm here in the first place is because of her.

"Ah...S-shizuo s-shouldn't I be asking you the s-same thing"

"No...you shouldn't for the fact for all Izaya knew you were still with me so when he saw you here almost completely destroying his house so he called me your now ex-boyfriend to drag you out his apartment to some where that just isn't his apartment. 

And I was here for while listening to you just to make sure just what I was dealing with just to find out you think the reason I broke up with you is because of Izaya...when it has nothing to-do with that him."

"What?"

"YES! I broke up with you because of ALLLL of this because your crazy. All this has NOTHING to-do with Izaya I could give less then 3 shits about him all of this is just you and I don't want to be with you any more so please Vorona just go back home."

"Is-is that how you really feel" Vorona said with tears coming from her eye.

Shizou sighed" ...YES BITCH DID IT FINALLY GET THROUGH TO YOU!...damn this whole situation is just pissing me off I was so used to people fucking dumping me never thought it would be this hard to dump someone."

I've had enough of this shit I just wanna go back home this the last thing I wanna be doin' on a Saturday afternoon.

"W-well fine then..if THAT'S how you really feel as you can already see I got most of my anger out-" ...how the fuck she flip the desk over...hmm pretty strong for a girl still bot havin' it though.

"And my plan was after I kill Izaya I was to go on the next plain heading to Russia but cause there seems to be no real reason to kill him anymore I'll leave him to you Shizuo-senpi good bye" As she said that Izaya was standing out side the door and she just walked right passed him and with that she was gone finafuckin'ly.

Heh, good job Shizu-chan..." Izaya stop and take a look around his apartment from the looks of it his work desk is flipped over, his couched looked like a fucking tiger used it as a fucking chew toy it was ripped to complete shreads, his chairs were just pushed over atleast and the book cases were completely tip over Izaya walked over there first to I think check on something once he did it looks like he sighed in relief in my opinion I wanna know what type of relief ya gonna have when everything in your house is messed up.

Then Izaya walked to what seemed to be a chess game or was all over the floor...and he just kept looking at it like the shit was the most interesting thing in the whole damn world. After awhile it started to creep me out he was staring at it for a good 5 minutes now. I know it's Izaya but still this isn't right it just doesn't feel right.

After some more time and arguing with myself I gave in and went to ask the flea if he was alright.

"Oi' flea you okay over there?"

"Yeah I'm fine, why do you ask? Oh! Is it possible for the one and only Shizu-chan to be worried about me~."

And there is goes whatever I was feeling gone now.

"No you damn flea I just wanted to get your attention..."

"Oh...and why was that Shizu-chan"

Izaya said with-for once not a smirk on his face ...but and actual smile...I would be lying if I said I didn't feel heat rush to my face alittle.

"Well come on look at this place! Y-your the one who said their were tried right the least I could do is help as much as I can with all this but of you-!"

"Okay."

"And-wait what did you just say?"

"U-um I said okay if wasn't tried I would have m-most definitely said no but I-I'm not gonna lie on this one I need help and the faster it gets done the faster I can go to sleep and the faster you can go back to whatever you were doing before I called you."

"Nothin' much I was standing outside taking a smoke" 

I don't know why but I swear I see a blush across his face.

"Y-yeah whatever let's just get started okay"

"Yep" 

.....

So after that little and surprisingly civil conversation with the flea I went over to help him flip his desk back over. Izaya told me to go up the few step to the next level which looked like to only hold now fallen books shelf's and to stand them back up again. I asked him if he wanted me to put the books back on the shelf to and he answered with, "oh-of course not Shizu-chan I could never let someone with your.....intellect to sort through my precious information' just stand up the shelves and I'll deal the sorting and putting them were they belong thanks anyway", yeah I aware it's Izaya but that's still pisses me off none the less.

Anyway after that was done with I walk passed Izaya while he was putting the books back on the shelf next to his desk-I went to the kitchen to see what the bitch could have messed up in there and again not to my surprise the kitchen looked pretty trashed too. The fridge was leaning so the front of it was on the counter. So I made sure it was still plugged in then stood it back up with ease. I picked up all the knives and silverware and put them in the sink same for the cups, plates, and bowls that weren't shattered across the floor. After that I looked for a broom and dustpan to clean the broken dishes on the floor after that the Izaya's kitchen didn't look to bad other then all the dishes that I just picked up in the sink. I went back to see Izaya after putting the books back on the shelves was now organizing some 'main' files he told me already so I went further into the fleas apartment to see what else needed to be flipped back over.  
I came to a room that was most likely the flea's I think the reason I think it's the fleas room was because from the state the room was in I don't think it can be called one anymore. The cutins were ripped the bed was flipped over same with the night stand that was probably right next to it and a dresser that was face first on the ground,plus the closet door that was wide open and looks like to have a couple clothes from it on the floor. When I look at all this and how much Vorona looked for him in his own house...if he was here he could have died today...I mean i-it's not like I would have cared or any thing it's just that it wouldn't have been mean and I would be really pissed of and yeah all that ANYWAY.

I walk out the flea's bed room to the bathroom to see what needs to be fixed there when I go in I the curtain for the shower has fallen down so I go and fix that then put the first aid, soup, and cleaning stuff back under the sink cabinet I see something that looks to be rapped in a bloody cloth...I aware it's not my house and I should mind my own business when it comes to stuff like this to Izaya especially but I just couldn't help my self so I took a look. And what I found in the cloth was a decent size kitchen knife.

"What the hell is something like this doing in his bathroom...?"

And then...it hit me I don't know why but it did...the last time came to Izaya's house I grad his arm and for me in a very light way but he still flinched...maybe.

"Nonono Shizuo don't g-get ahead of yourself for the fact that you don't know if the blood is Izaya's and you know who you need to go to, to confirm that this is not Izaya's blood" with that Shizuo rapped the bloody clothe in another clothe and put it in his vest pocket. Then fixed the rest of the bathroom and left to see how's Izaya was holding up.

"O-oi flea I finished doing everything I could do to help you out need somthin else" Izaya thought for a moment.

"...No there is not thing else I need your help with-I really do owe you after this though you helped me out a lot with all this thank you."  
By this time Izaya was already standing next to me and for some reason I don't know I hugged him.

"Your welcome Izaya and haha I'm gonna hold you up for that favor someday seeya later...a-and....If you want you can come back to Ikebukuro-but don't think I'm still not gonna chase you out for one second-seeya around Izaya" With that again for some reason I gave him a real smile and started walking straight to Shinra's-yeah I know it's late know but I need to know if this blood is the flea's or not...I just have to even if I still don't know why.

Izaya's POV

What the hell just happened well what ever it is I love it

'Hahaha finally'

"W-hat the hell I thought you said you were going to leave me alone"

"Ha~? I did? Well for some reason for the life of me I can't seem to remember but any way I need to ask you, do you remember when I gave you the choices'

"Yes...?What are you up too?" 

'Just shut up follow with what I'm saying and let me get to my point please okay-okay now name em' off for me dear'

"Please don't call me dear"

'...NAME THEM!'

"OKAY~ 1-you take complete control of me which was a big hell no, 2-pretty much just selfharm, and 3-....t-to k-kill S-shizu-chan and that bitch even though I would still only kill her"

'Yes-yes~ I know cause...your in love with Shizu-chan...am I wrong?'

"No, you are not I'm in love with Shizuo"

'Haa I should have know you would have li-wait the what you just say'

"I love Shizuo-I'm in love with Shizuo Hewajima."

'Well damn I wanted to stay a little longer'

"What do you mean...who the hell are you in the first place??"

'Really now hahaha I'm you well you made me, your mind did anyway-I was made to make you realize the love you have for Shizu-chan and know that you have I can leave'

"Really like your g-going to be gone forever like bye see you never again??"

'Yes Izaya oh and you don't have to harm your self anymore and yeah never got to worry about me again...as long as you don't denie your love for Shizuo okay?'

"You know I won't have it any other way?"

'Ha~very I bid you farewell Izaya'

"Bye."

After that who to be honest I have no clue what that was but anyway. I went to the bathroom room and mentally thanked Shizuo again for helping me then went to the knife that was still in the cabinet under the sink in the back and after washing it off I returned it were it belong...my kitchen drawer.

And in the first time for what felt like years I went to sleep with little to no problems once so ever.

.....

... it's took a while but by the time I got to Shinra's it's almost 11 o'clock which makes sense for I left Izaya's around 10 o'clock and I was to antsy to wait for the train so I walk from Shinjuku to Ikebukuro. But now it's been half an hour and I've been waiting for a slightly grumpy Underground doctor for the fact that I woke him from his slumber, waking him from his 'wonder dream about Celty' his words not mine for that fact I could give less then 3 shits about his dreams. Because I just had a clothes with Iza-unknow blood at the flea apartment that needs checkin' to see if-who the flea killed.

...

It's been about another half an hour and Shinra's still not back with the results I swear if he's sleeping back there I'm going to wake him up for falling asleep then PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE for falling asleep.

"Shinra what are you doing back there I hope you ain't sleep?"

"U-umm, y-yeah I'll be there in a minute after I check this test oh about 10 more times"

"Oh ok...Wait WHAT THE H-okay enough of this"

I walk to the back were I know shinra is to see him standing in front of his desk look at his clip board as if it told him to fuck off or somethin.

"Hey Shinra... what's the matter something wrong with the sample of somethin??"

"U-umm yes a-and no"

That stutterin' giving me a bad feeling as some one as smart and slightly deranged as Shinra starts gettin nervous over some test results is never a good thing..but it can't be what I think it is right? Cause if it is what I think not is it makes no sense for what I think it is to be there is it.. right?

"So what i-is it Shinra? Spit it out already."

"You said you got this from Izaya's apartment correct?"

"YES!, Just say whatever it is already Shinra!"

I hate to admit this though but I really need to know where that blood came from I'm worried I don't know about what but I just have a feeling Shinra's gonna give the answer I was not looking forward too in the slightest.

"OKAY!, and try to keep it down Celty's still sleeping."

"...Shinra...just say it already for fucks sake how bad is it.. "

"..... i..s....iz..a..y.s"

"What?"

"It's Izaya's blood but this makes no sense for the fact he hasn't been around for a while like yes I know why dut this still makes no sense and for what you told me you found it hidden in his bath room-an for a fact I know he hasn't gotten hurt badly because then I would know for the fact that even when we have our worst fights he still comes to me to get pached upped so this still makes no sense as to why it was hidden or anything you said he look fine right so he must not have been really injured but for how the age of the blood look it seems to only be a little less then a day old so I really have no other solution to this case is-"

I have no idea what's he saying he's talking so fast I'm only picking up dits and pieces but I'm not fully attaining this whole process he slurring through his mouth.

"SHINRA- calm down what the hell are you even going on about you the flea fight here and there it's normal and what is this whole thing about a case? I get the bloods Izaya but do you know why he would just have it hidden in his bathroom and ya know not in the washer or somethin?"

"I don't want to say what I'm thinking cause if it is what I think it is I didn't think it would be wise to tell for it could...could make the problem worse I think anyway?"

"You think, Shinra? What are you thinking any way you said the bloods Izaya but what is this problem that if you tell me about it, it could make everything go to shit?"

Like seriously what could be so bad now that I think about I don't know all that much about Izaya, for all I know that clothe was just from him... shaving his legs or somethin' yeah that's it it gotta be..but then why would it be hidden...AGH all this stressing shit for what? That damn flea I must be going crazy for worrying about him.

"I-i think Izaya is performing self harm...."

"...."

Okay that's it.

"SHIZUO WAIT YOU CAN'T JUST RUN ALL THE WAY BACK TO SHINJUKU AT THIS TIME THINK REASONABLY-and on top of that it late all the trains have stopped running and Izaya's sleep when I saw the first result I wanted to ask him about it but he didn't pick up and sent me a quick text that said "sleeping" so going back to his apartment at this time will do you know good. And for all I know he really just had a bloody clothe cause he cut himself BY ACCIDENT and just didn't have time to put it in the wash?"

Halfway down the hallway I realized Shinra had a point until I thought about...

"What do you mean no time...the flea hasn't been to Ikebukuro for a while now? What could he be so busy with you said it you self a number of times that Iz-the flea does a lot of his work from his apartment?"

"You know there are other places around Tokyo that Izaya visit's and has meetings with correct?"

I swear the next person I'm going to throw a trashcan will be Shinra, I don't care how in love Celty is with him he's really starting to piss me off now but truth be told it is getting late and I have a feeling both of us are not thinking clearly for the fact that it's know almost 1 o'clock in the morning and this conversation is about to be going in circles all night long.

"Ok, fine how about I come over again tomorrow.. later today and we can talk about this to see if this is what you say it think it is, is that alright-and before you say anything ya I promise I'll go home and not try to see whatever's up with the flea got it."

Even though I'd rather not I know Shinra won't let me leave if he thinks I'm going to run to Izaya's as soon as I leave.

"Mmm, okay see you around...10 o'clock?"

"Sure, seeya Shinra good night..."

"Good night Shizuo gets some good night's rest"

Yeah, cause how the hell am I supposed to do that feeling like apart of the flea doing this is because of me...

.....

For the first time in the pass 2 months I actually manage to sleep in...I should probably have Namie come in more now that I have my little situation all cleared upped...okay maybe it wasn't a little situation but I got thought it.

...

Not to long after I finished getting dressed I heard knocking at my door...but it seems to be my "guest" has no patients for the fact that I was half way towards the door when it came flying off it hinges...well do I really need to say who it was? 

"Well good afternoon to you too Shizu-chan...oh and Shinra? I don't remember doing anything to have you in my presence is there a special occasion happening oh or are you here to tell me you changed your mind about me being able to come to Ikebukuro, sorry to say I'm not going to comply...Shi-zu-chan~"

With Vorona finally out of the picture it's just me and Shizuo again even if that voice comes back (it won't) I have Shizu-chan even if he doesn't know how much I love him, rather he be single then...well with anyone who's not me of course.

"Fle-Izaya show us your arms"

"...okay..?"

I'm not sure what he means so I just hold my arms out Shinra's here so if he tries anything I can just have Shinra patch me up...even though I still don't feel like talking to him though. He's love with s literal mon-no fairy who loves him back.... I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous but if someone wad to ask I would say I don't care cause when your someone like me it's just something you get used to denying, reason even I'm not sure any more.

"Izaya-kun that's not what we mean and you know it...."

What could they be...oh.... Damnmit from the looks on thier faces they must have gotten there answer without me even saying anything...either what made them come to this conclusion anyway they must have had some type of clue? But when Shizuo helped me yesterday I still had my coat on.. actually I didn't take it off till after Shizuo left this makes no sense what am I missing?

"Izaya, when I-when I was helping ya I saw this bloody clothe in your bathroom kinda hidden so I was...curios? So I gave it to Shinra to test and well he came up with the conclusion that you hurt yourself so...come on Izaya show us wrong will ya that's you're favorite thing to do ain't it?"

Mmm if it was just Shizuo I could trick him sadly to say it's not Shinra can easily see through the plains I make up on the spot...so it seems I just have to tell the truth..not the whole truth of course for obvious reasons.

"Okay yes, I did perform self harm...but I realized something from it and that it's no longer needed and well even though my sisters say they hate me and would kill me in a heartbeat if needed too...they miss the extra money I give them behind our parents backs and I just don't feel like kicking the bucket all that soon...cause only one person is aloud to do that, isn't that right Shizu-chan?"

"Wait...what you stopped Izaya-kun when are you lying to us because if you are and-"

"are you fucking shittin' me right now. Tell me ya joking You Damn FLEA!?"

This was not the reaction I was expecting Shizuo haa~thier you go again being unpredictable as always I really do love you.

"Oh wipe that smile off your face you ass you me an-I mean Shinra worried to high hell about thos shit, so we come all the way here just to tell us you fine now!"

"Yes, that what it seems like protozoan figured that out all by yourself I'm proud off you, oh and how could I wipe this smile off my face as you put it if your here causing me so much joy."

"Izaya-kun...you'er sure about this...your alright"

"Yes, Shinra I'M FINE now you can leave if that's all you have to say you can stay it if you want Shizu-chan just don't break anything k~"

"No, this is not okay you fucking asshole you weren't actin' like your normal self yesterday and now you seem completely fine I'll never understand you damn flea"

Poor Shizu-chan if you could have understood me you would have already killed me for what I actually feel towards you...maybe some day when you can see somthing other then hatred towards me....

"Agh, fuck this I'm going to work I'm already late as it is and if I see your ass in Ikebukuro I going to beat it out of this fuck world"

"That sounds very kinky Shizuo-kun?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP SHINRA YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, AND YOU FLEA....are ya blushin, nope-no I'm going to work bye"

"Well this is an interesting turn of events huh Izaya I would have thought you would never realize your feelings towards Shixuo"

Wait what?

"What are you-okay yoy don't have to give me that look however I have to ask how'd you figured it out?"

"Izaya-kun I've known you sense middle school and to this day the only person I've seen you blush at is Shizuo...wasn't that hard really"

"...if that's all you have to say Shinra you may leave...ans you better keep this to yourself if you know what3 good for you"

"One I've been keeping this to myself sense high school you don't have to worry and I do have something else to say."

"Spit it out already then I don't have all day."

Actually I do I took the day off but that's besides the point.

"Izaya-kun-Izaya I'm your best...and only friend and I'm also here to apologize for what I said to you a while ago, even though I knew you liked him I still wanted you to back off because...well I could see you were getting more irritable which in your line of work is not always the best thing, yes I know I'm your friend but I'm also your doctor but what I did I have a feeling it played a part at some point as to why you hurt yourself...I know how you can be but can you please forgive me Izaya?"

I'm not going to lie what Shinra said in the beginning pissed me off or anything but I'm not going to lie apart of the reasons I always went to Ikebukuro was to visit Shinra even if half the time to him it felt like a jod for the fact I always had to get patched upped...but I might just a little bit miss my best and only friend.

"Haa~yes yoy do know how I can be at times so you must know I have forgiven you...be grateful"

"Ohhh, I love yay too Izaya not as much as Celty of course but you know"

"Ya, I know ot the thought that counts now you can stop hugging me already?"

"Oh sorry, Ah see you around Izaya-kun bye bye"

"Bye....

I wonder what the hell really just happened here?"

**Author's Note:**

> This story is one I originally put on Wattpad under the name uno-jyugo-liang-upa but now I put it here to see if it can get more recognition please and thanks 😊


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